I thought all I was missing was timing and confidence. I’ve had enough passion to start this blog for years now, but fear has held me back a lot in life. And even though it’s still scary to share myself with the world I feel I’m finally ready.
And yet every time I sit down to write I feel stuck and lost for words. My executive dysfunction kicks into overdrive and I’m left frozen, staring at the white screen, wishing the words would leave my chaotic mind. But they never do.
I’ve been anxious my entire life but lately it feels worse than ever before. Everything and anything can set me off in an instant. Ripping me away from any sort of contentment or happiness I find. My emotions have always been a handful, and they are more in control than ever before. I feel chronically overwhelmed by them 99% of the time.
The culprit? My mess of a nervous system.
I’m more unregulated than I’ve been in years. Even when I can manage to get myself out of that state, I’m always pulled back by something. Whether that’s because of my own thoughts, words of others, news, or whatever; my anxiety takes control and I’m thrown back into the misery cycle. Like a match drenched with gasoline. One swipe and my mind is on fire. Unable to do anything I need to do, let alone want to do.
But why? How did I get to this point of such dysregulation?
Having news at your fingertips will imbalance anybody’s nervous system. And I’ve always been a sensitive softie. Watching the bad in the world will send me into a spiral very quickly. And of course, all the horrible personal experiences that come with being human. I also worked in customer service for far too long and am just now realizing how much damage it did to my mental health.
The second I become unregulated I go into ‘survival mode’. I heavily lean into my bad habits, forget any form of self-care or goals, and ultimately spiral because of it all. I become irritable, depressed, anxious, and pessimistic. And unfortunately, I’m in that place a majority of the time.
And I’m over it. I’m done with being in the cycle of misery. I’m ready to find a way to heal my nervous system so that every emotion doesn’t feel like the end of the world. There will always be annoyances. There will always be bad news. There will always be something. That is life.
If there’s ever a call for action, it’s now. With all the chaos in the world I need to be able to handle the news so I’m able to take action. Now is the time to be who you are and fight for what you believe in. And personally, I can’t do that EITHER if I feel like I’m being hunted every second.
I’ve been inspired by the YouTube trend “75 Hard Challenge”. Or the other version “75 Soft Challenge” where you have multiple tasks you complete every day for 75 days. If you don’t accomplish everything on the list you have to start over. The activities range but some of them are: exercising, reading, healthy eating, caffeine, more water, etc. The intensity depends on the version, but the idea is the same: accomplish tasks every day that improve your life. And as much as I’d love to attempt either one, I know it would be a fruitless effort.
Because I’ve tried several personal ‘challenges’ over the years. I’ve tried to break bad habits, calendar blocking, diet restrictions, morning and night routines, reward system, etc. I’ve tried them all. I always start with full steam but once I become sad or anxious everything goes out the window. And I fail over and over again.
So instead of trying to improve our life by doing things we think we should be doing, we are solely focused on healing our nervous system. And to do this we’re taking the 75 hard challenge and creating our own spin with it: the 75 Regulate Challenge.
This challenge has the same idea: complete tasks every single day for 75 days. Some of the tasks overlap with the other versions with some new ones thrown in. However all tasks have the same goal: fix my broken fight or flight. I’ve also made the goals a bit more broad to give myself wiggle room. Finally, to make this challenge effective I must do every tasks for 30 minutes minimum every day.
It’s also catered to what has and hasn’t worked for me in the past. I know everyone is different, so I’ve also made a list of some swaps if you like the idea of a nervous system challenge but need different choices. What works for you might look different and that’s okay!
Here are the five goals I’m accomplishing every day to heal my nervous system:
1. Cardio Exercise
I HATE that exercise is the answer to feeling better. Not just physical health but nervous system too. I have too much energy with my ADHD and exercise will help release that excess energy. I’ve known this for years and yet I still haven’t gotten into the exercise habit. It’s time to change that with this challenge. Ways I’m planning to get 30 minutes of cardio are: dancing, long walks, or simple cardio videos on YouTube. It doesn’t matter how I get my cardio workout in, as long as my heart gets pumping for 30 minutes every day.
2. Mindful Movement
I split exercise into two goals because I want to make sure I get the results from both. Cardio is about getting my heart pumping and releasing all the excess energy I have. Mindful movement is all about connecting the mind and body. I plan to do this with yoga, tai chi, and calisthenics. Anything that requires me to be slow and mindful of my movements. Plus, I’ve always wanted to get stronger, and this seems like a fun way to do it!
3. Journaling
This is a fantastic alternative if you don’t have access to therapy. I recommend both, but if you can’t see a therapist right now you still need to begin processing your emotions. Because as much as you try and avoid them, they’re there lurking in the background. This will be the easiest challenge for me as I already journaling a few times a week. I’ve already seen my own personal benefits from that so I want to push that even further and commit to journaling every day.
4. Breathwork
I’ve tried breathwork once and I noticed a slight improvement afterwards. While it wasn’t enough to continue doing it at the time, I’m curious to see the effects if I give breathwork a solid try. I’ve heard a lot of good things about breathwork and it’s relationship with the nervous system
5. Meditation
Meditation can be boring but with a constant moving brain it’s imperative I take the time to just *be*. To make it less boring I’ll meditate with specific meditation music , nature sounds, or use a meditation guide to help me get into the ‘zone’. I also can’t stay still to save my life. While meditating I’m usually swaying my body or using one of my fidget toys. Every time I try and meditate the ‘right way’ I end up fidgeting and getting distracted anyway. Meditation looks different for everyone and that’s okay! Find what works for you.
I always pictured myself starting this blog after I had it all figured out. But throughout the years I’ve realized Ill never have all the answers. And I’m tired of waiting for everything to be perfect to start.
I just need to get out of my own way. And the first thing I can think of is healing my constant state of ✨️panic✨️.
This is going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. 75 days is a long time to stick to something. Especially if you’re like me and don’t have the best track record with self-discipline. But that’s why I’m sharing my journey with you. To keep myself accountable I’m getting the internet involved.
The challenge starts tomorrow…are you ready? I’m not but I’m doing it anyway!